Find the root, lift yourself

Many parents experience mental health challenges, with low mood and depression among the most common. The first step in breaking free from negative emotions is to identify their source.
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Depressive thoughts often stem from a sense of hopelessness or feeling powerless to change your circumstances. When you can’t see a way forward, you can become stuck in a cycle of negativity — which not only makes you unhappy but also undermines your ability to live well and parent effectively.
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The good news is there are many strategies to combat low mood, from mindfulness and meditation to actively challenging unhelpful thoughts. But before you can apply these tools, you need to locate the problem.
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Start by asking yourself: What exactly is bothering me? Once you pinpoint the issue, you can develop ways to tackle it — whether that’s by changing the situation itself or finding better ways to cope.
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For example, many mothers report that loneliness is a major contributor to their depression. In fact, studies show that 80–90% of new mothers feel lonely and unsupported at times.
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If you recognise loneliness as the root of your low mood, you can begin to take action:

• Reassess your thoughts: Use cognitive restructuring to examine whether you truly are as unsupported as you feel. You might discover that while you have some support, you still crave more connection.
• Reframe the situation: Try viewing your alone time as an opportunity for self-care or personal growth.
• Communicate openly: Share your feelings with your partner, family, or friends — they may not realise what you’re going through.
• Schedule social time: Commit to at least one afternoon or evening each week for something social you enjoy, like meeting other parents, catching up with friends, or joining a class or gym.
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Over time, these actions can help reduce feelings of loneliness and remind you that you do have the power to improve your situation — directly challenging the sense of hopelessness at the heart of depression.
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And remember, if tackling these steps on your own feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist. They will likely guide you through this same process, providing extra support as you work through it.
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So, when you’re feeling low or overwhelmed, start by asking: Where is this feeling coming from? Once you’ve located the problem, you can take meaningful steps to move forward.

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